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The case for marriage is a myth. I rise and fall on my own power. | Letters
Here’s what readers are saying in Sunday’s letters to the editor.
 
A Mexican Mariachi band surrounded by heart-shaped balloons awaits the arrival of a couple's wedding proposal ceremony at the Lake Hollywood Park in Los Angeles, on Valentine's Day in 2022. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)
A Mexican Mariachi band surrounded by heart-shaped balloons awaits the arrival of a couple's wedding proposal ceremony at the Lake Hollywood Park in Los Angeles, on Valentine's Day in 2022. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes) [ DAMIAN DOVARGANES | AP ]
Published March 3

I saw myself in her

The case for marriage is a myth | Perspective, Feb. 25

Columnist Lyz Lenz’s truth is my truth. I have never fit the wife and mother box. I served 25 years in a marriage that was built on lies. I settled for less and less, and yet out of sheer despair I managed to become my own person, making choices about what I want and what I need. There never was a safety net of a spouse’s support financially and/or emotionally. But so be it. There are no guarantees in life for anyone and even fewer opportunities for women struggling to survive on diminished wages and increased expenses. I rise and fall on my own power, and there is great satisfaction in knowing I can and will be the mistress of my destiny. As I age I see controlling my choices as a necessity. Being alone is a gift, a sigh of peace, a sweet silence, and when I want to, I can come and go as I please. The freedom to choose your bliss is priceless. No ring required. I am my own best advocate and in the end I am my own person. I wonder how many women would take the chance to build a new life for themselves and their children?

Linda Miller, Dunedin

No mention of kids

The case for marriage is a myth | Perspective, Feb. 25

Maybe marriage isn’t right for Lyz Lenz, who now claims to be a single mother. But she is really only a half-time single mother. Half the time she is just single. She has a more favorable financial situation than many, if not most, single mothers who are struggling to survive. Her best time is when she is “free” and that is when her ex has the kids. To me, she sounds like someone who should never marry and should also never have children. She has her own home and fills it with “pets, books and friends.” No mention of kids.

Joe Crites, Clearwater

My ideal

The case for marriage is a myth | Perspective, Feb. 25

This essay raises several interesting points in defense of columnist Lyz Lenz’s decision to be a single mother. It’s also true that, in general, what’s rewarded gets repeated. If you pay people to not marry, and they see it as their best option, you’ll get a ton who won’t. The same goes the other way. Paying people to be married will result in a bunch of forced marriages that become broken homes. Marriage is not a myth. It’s sad that in our complaining over how society harms us, we’ve torched the concept of the “ideal.” As long as the only way to make babies involves a man’s sperm and a woman’s egg, logically, the ideal home is two loving, married parents raising their kids in a loving, disciplined home. That the author’s situation differs doesn’t void the ideal. There is no case that can be made that society is best off with single parenthood rising. It’s time that politicians reduce their impact on the private lives of Americans. Paying people to be married, or not, is way beyond the scope of limited government. But limited government requires adults to be responsible for their lives, a long-forgotten skill. Too many of us, regardless of party, don’t care about our obligations. Therefore, we turn to leaders we despise to create our solutions. That neither political party believes in limited government guarantees our nation’s decline.

Jason Barrera, Oldsmar

Growing up spoiled

Youth sports has problems | Feb. 22

This is a very sad truth about what’s happening to youth sports. Youth sports are an important part of growing up and learning how to be a part of something. Adults that expect things to be the way they want are destroying the opportunities for children to enjoy this part of their childhood. It’s unfortunate to see, but spoiled children have grown up to be spoiled adults.

Michael Glennon, St. Petersburg

A team approach

Age as a presidential issue

There has been a lot of talk and letters to the editor about President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump’s mental abilities. It’s important to note that when we elect a president, we don’t elect just one person. We elect a team. The president has a team of Cabinet officers. A team of White House lawyers. A White House staff. These people all advise the president. The president even has a team of separate advisers. You need to consider not just the person, but the team they will create. You need to consider how well they would listen to their team. Does the president know more about the military than the generals? Unless the president was a general themself, the answer is no. The federal government is too massive for one person to run it by himself. A president needs a team of experts, to whom they listen, to help them. If it comes down to a choice between team Biden or team Trump, which team would be better for the country?

Russ A. Johnson, Hudson

Developers developing

Are real estate investors pushing out St. Petersburg’s Black residents? | Feb. 25

The truth is that out-of-town investors and developers are tightening a stranglehold on St. Petersburg’s future, buying up property at exorbitant prices, then building ever-bigger and flashier buildings for profit; then they vanish, leaving behind a more expensive, more crowded, unpleasant wake. City government is entirely complicit in the process, still living by zoning and development rules originally designed to turn “downtown St. Pete” from a wasteland into livable space, profiting by huge tax increases in property value. “Neighborhood character” is merely a slogan, easily tossed aside in the quest for “more and bigger.” Unless we reopen discussions about the future of our city, we are committing architectural and atmosphere suicide; what drew us here is vanishing before our eyes, to the detriment of all of us, not just Black residents.

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Stephen Phillips, St. Petersburg

Nothing to stop it

Are real estate investors pushing out St. Petersburg’s Black residents? | Feb. 25

As I read the article about Black residents being pushed out of St. Pete’s south side I kept waiting for the authors to say the quiet part out loud: Allowing developers to buy up large chunks of South St. Pete is perpetuating the harm the city has been doing to St. Pete’s Black community for 50-plus years. And we seem to be doing nothing to stop it. As a city, we’ve done a beautiful job of opening doors for the LGBTQ+ community and I’d hate to see us continue to miss the mark when it comes to protecting our Black residents and historically Black communities.

Michelle Heinsimer, St. Petersburg

A slow boil

Restrictions under the guise of freedom | Editorial, April 6, 2022

With each passing legislative session, Florida’s’ citizens lose more and more of their freedom to self-govern. In an April 2022 editorial, the Times Editorial Board asserted that Republican state lawmakers were hypocrites, opportunists and had the cynical belief that Floridians would buy whatever they were selling. I believe preemptive state-sponsored legislation limiting local governance is more of the frog in hot water syndrome, where our living conditions gradually degrade and we mindlessly adapt to this loss of freedoms instead of resisting, until we are no longer strong enough to escape the state takeover of our personal and regional freedom of self-determination. For us here in Florida, it is not the federal government taking control. The leadership in Tallahassee have more in common with southern Georgia than with most of Florida and this brand of Republicanism has more in common with the defunct Soviet Union than in a nation with the oldest functioning democracy in the world.

Brian Valsavage, St. Petersburg

No guns in cars

Florida kids who carry guns get stiffer penalties | Feb. 21

If it’s been determined that most illegal guns are stolen out of cars, why can’t we pass a law making it illegal to leave a gun in your car? After all, we can openly carry a gun now, why have an extra in your car? Where else do kids get guns?

Kathleen McDole, St. Petersburg

Left. Left. Left, right, left

Here’s why Florida should teach kids about communism | Editorial, Feb. 25

It was with great suspicion that I read the editorial on Florida’s intent to teach communism to grades K-12. While this topic seems worthwhile at initial glance, there remains some underlying suspicions. First off, it seems unlikely early elementary students would be able to grasp the complexities of economic theories and how authoritarian dictators took full advantage for tyrannical rule.

But more questionable are the reasons behind this push. One might suspiciously believe the education commissioner, a true foot soldier in the governor’s culture war, may have ulterior motives. Mainly indoctrination against any philosophy labeled as “leftist.” Will those Democrats on the most progressive side of the political aisle be classified as communist?

If this is a course of world history, teaching the abuses of totalitarian regimes, then the class can be fully worthwhile. But in today’s divisive politics, with labels being tossed around “left” and “right,” I will remain suspicious.

William Falcone, Brandon